you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
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I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
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He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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