I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
