my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize