operation harelip BJ is a go
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize