I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize