marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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