I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
