Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
