You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
