she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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