He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
