Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
