i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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