Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
