even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
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