just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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