Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
this will be a night to untag.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Randomize
