Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
