Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
