Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
