If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
