actually, I'm a sock model
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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