I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
