no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
