So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
