Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
