Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I deserve this hangover.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
