i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
