Buhtt sex?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize