Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
