if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize