There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize