I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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