What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
