is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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