**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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