Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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