i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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