Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
