Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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