I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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