Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
