And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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