Ambien. No doubt about it.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize