He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
