dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
