We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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