My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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