and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
