I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
