i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
