Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
MIDGETS
????
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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