You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
