Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
