I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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