So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
