As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
