I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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