He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
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Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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