im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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