a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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