It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
