Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
